Is this the way to Monmouth?

Yes. Even though Richard is away on tour [check local press for details], we have recorded a special, non-topical, Twitter-request podcast to tide you over, with subject matter chosen by you. It is Collings & Herrin Podcast 103, which is even more difficult than 102 – actually, very difficult, since we have no news to discuss, and are too superstitious to mention anyone living, in case they have died since we recorded it last Tuesday. It seemed safe to discuss the proposed hourly bus service from Newport to Monmouth, the famous red hypergiant star VY Canis Majoris, Darts the 70s doo-wop band and the general election, so we did. We hope you enjoy this podcast. It may be our third worst. Or third best. It’s hard, at this remove, to tell. It’s certainly more controversial than anything that lightweight Lenny Bruce came up with.

C&H&L

Props to ace cartoonist Darwinian Theory (possibly not his real name) who has drawn this picture of Collings & Herring & Lamb. This is Darwinian’s second dose of glory – he did the Stand Up Virgilio Soldiers one [below]. I like the fact that Richard is wearing a cap-sleeved t-shirt in it. By the way, Richard and I are now showbiz friends with George Lamb, due to the handover on Saturday mornings on 6 Music, which has engendered radio solidarity among us. He has been very friendly to us, so there. I expect Richard would becomes friends with Peter Kay and Skeletor if he ever met them and they were nice to him.

Check out more cartoons, mainly of Big Brother housemates to be fair, here.

It’s funny because it’s true

Ha ha, thanks to Andy Race, “an avid follower and supporter of C&H in all its guises”, for taking this picture in his adopted home town of Ararat, Australia. He hails from Sheffield and misses his weight in Pukka pies.

I know, I know, in this age of photoshopping and digital trickery, anybody could put the word COLLINGS onto a photo of a street sign, but I’m still gullible enough to believe that funny pictures with words in them are real. I would probably have printed those photos of Iraqi prisoners being weed on too if I had been the editor of the Daily Mirror: “Look, they must be real, there’s a photograph of it!”
(When I worked at the NME in the late 80s, we would often print a photograph a reader had sent in of, say, the sign outside a butcher’s with the name IAN BROWN on it. You had to make your own entertainment in those days.)

Cartoon time

Thanks to illustrator James Stayte for creating this poster design for us, on spec. We’re not going to use it, but we really like it (mainly because it makes us look young and cool and our podcast fans speccy and rubbish), and James said it was OK to publish it here. Perhaps you would like to visit his website and look at his other excellent work.

I won 56 million pounds

Apologies for the picture, which is actually a very funny satire on the fact that Ashley Cole seems to have no pubic hair in the sexy pants picture he texted to a lady [see: right]. In Collings & Herrin Podcast 102, which is more difficult than Podcast 101, we ponder what to do with the £56 million Lottery jackpot neither of us has won, wonder why a Sikh would want to be in the BNP, pitch some ideas for films based on human gas including The Fart Whisperer and say all the words we are not allowed to say on the BBC podcast, just to get them out of our systems. Mainly “nonce.”

Love the show, Steve

Our third Saturday morning show on 6 Music and it’s starting to feel like it’s actually us on the radio every week and not an elaborate Beadle-style practical joke (although I have been very suspicious about the bearded Arab Sheik who seems to be lurking outside the BBC every time we leave). The gallery of Nerd Army tasks is now up and running, and Lucy, the broadcast assistant on the show [right], is now able to post them as they come in, which means that the Valentines to either me, Richard or Skeletor that came in during today’s show can already be seen in their full, misguided glory. Check it out. Lucy revealed during a Text The Station discussion about words and wordplay that she uses a word she made up – “oomch” or “oomchy“- which describes a pleasurable, sensual sense, such as popping the foil on a new jar of coffee. She said she made it up when she was young. I asked her how old she was. She’s 23. Richard said I was rude to ask a lady her age. But I argued that it would be rude not to ask her age, since we are no longer living in Victorian times.

The podcast takes until Monday to edit and be approved so be patient – it will appear here – or, subscribe at iTunes and put us back up above Frankie Boyle and his successful one podcast. (It may take a bit longer this week as Richard said a word which he didn’t realise was on the BBC List Of Words You Shouldn’t Say; ironically, he used it in place of another word which he didn’t think he could say but in fact could say. It may be that this word is expunged from the podcast. You live and learn. It’s nothing you wouldn’t hear in prison.)

101

Ha! Fooled you! Even though we hinted that there would be no more Collings & Herrin Podcasts because we are now too famous and successful and rich and on the BBC and everything, we were lying. Here is Number 101, which is full of the usual stuff: shameless plugging (not least for the just-out Headmaster’s Son double DVD from Go Faster Stripe), whimsical filth, a passing smudge of topical news-based humour and a rambling anecdote from Richard which begins, innocently enough, with some baked legumes. There will be a sanitised, faintly professional-sounding podcast from this Saturday’s 6 Music show in the usual place on Monday. Most of you don’t deserve us.

Adings and Joring


Gosh Andrew Collings is well rubbish at updating this site. I am forced to do it myself. But I am not as good at him as putting all the stuff together with nice pictures and all that and not entirely sure about how to link to things, but I’ll give it a go. And maybe lazy Collings, with all his “proper” work, can look over it all and correct my mistakes.
Any road we have done two weeks of sitting in for Adam and Joe now – who knows how long it might go on? And you can take a look at our dedicated web page and gall-ery as well as see links to iPlayer and all that shit here (hey that linking was well easy! Maybe it will work out OK.
At the moment it’s only got the Hitler Moustache pics up, but hopefully the 100 (or 28) objects will appear soon.
We’re holding steady at number 4 in the main iTunes charts at the moment, which is still impressively high. So do subscribe if you haven’t already.
There will be a regular Collings and Herrin podcast on Thursday as well. Oh Ambassador with these podcasts you are really spoiling us, Wassup?

Victory of the Nerds

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Thank you to the Nerd Army, who mobilised last night, after a week of frustration over the Collins & Herring 6 Music Podcast, which was available to download and listen to, but not visible on iTunes. It turned up, but was initially listed as a video podcast, then as News & Politics, but somewhere along the line, last night, it climbed the iTunes Comedy chart to number two, and number three in all podcasts. This morning, it is number one in Comedy, and number two in All. This is admirable work, Army. I guess the only way is down, but from a standing start (sort of), the spin-off double act has done well in under a week.

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