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I won 56 million pounds

Apologies for the picture, which is actually a very funny satire on the fact that Ashley Cole seems to have no pubic hair in the sexy pants picture he texted to a lady [see: right]. In Collings & Herrin Podcast 102, which is more difficult than Podcast 101, we ponder what to do with the £56 million Lottery jackpot neither of us has won, wonder why a Sikh would want to be in the BNP, pitch some ideas for films based on human gas including The Fart Whisperer and say all the words we are not allowed to say on the BBC podcast, just to get them out of our systems. Mainly “nonce.”

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14 responses to “I won 56 million pounds

  1. The picture I never wanted to see!Today a colleague caught me listening to your 6music programme online. She listened for a minute or two, laughed, and then asked if you were gay or bisexual.I brought her up to speed and recommended the (independent) podcast. I warned her not to listen if she was easily offended. She said 'no, as long as they don't make jokes about paedophiles'. Erm.

  2. I reduced the size of the picture for fear of frightening horses.

  3. Dear Andrew and Richard,I just wanted to say thank you for accompanying me on my month long trip around India. I was travelling alone so you were welcome company during my often lengthy waits at train stations, bus stops and of course the lonely lonely cold nights. I particularly liked Andrew’s very interesting comments on the Mitford Sisters.Thank you!Elina

  4. Jonathan

    Radio 4, 6:30 tonight – The Write Stuff, subject Nancy Mitford. Why isn't Andrew on this (especially as he's – temporarily? – ubiquitous on the radio)? I feel like not paying my licence fee in protest!

  5. You think that the average listener will be shocked by Richard's pubes? You don't know the audience that well!

  6. Graeme

    My mum just said 'dear oh dear' when she saw the podcast pic. That's a win, gents. Well done.

  7. Adam S

    Can I make a correction to your listeners' correction on libel/slander. Actually what you are 'risking' is libel. Slander is defamation in a transitory or temporary form. When you record speech, as you do in podcast form, it becomes a permanent form and therefore potentially libel.So please keep the libels coming.Adam

  8. Love the show.For the next corrections and clarifications, Ben Elton appeared in a TV advert for Divine Fairtrade Chocolate in 1999.

  9. Laughing like a loon on the bus this morning! Loved your attempt at B&Q Homebase voice overs Surprised they have not been in touch with your agent.

  10. Let me set the scene: I've just moved in with my boyfriend. Well, I've moved my stuff there, I'm still working and living in Manchester for the next month and my boyfriend lives in Sheffield. Anyway, I'd moved my stuff over, was having a little snooze and woke to find said boyfriend with an open laptop and an image of your unbelted jeans. I tried to focus but without my specs could only really see your flesh and the paper boy in the background. Please, please be careful with the satirical images. My boyfriend loves your blogs, podcasts and live shows but I thought he'd gone a step too far.

  11. Really enjoyed this week's 'cast.Although you've explained the photo, I can't rid myself of the thought that this is an "imagining" of Richard's dream dressing room.As he loosens his garments before settling for a well-earned pre-show dump, Richard realises there is no paper. With only a Marmite* sandwich to hand, his predicament is resolved when, like the shop-keeper in Mr Benn, up pops Tiny Andrew Collings with a selection of tabloid sheets to bring his colleague some welcome relief.Everyone needs a Tiny Andrew Collings.*Other brown yeast-based spreads are available

  12. Ben

    The difference between American and UK film ratings is pretty simple. In the US a child of any age can see any movie of any rating as long as it is accompanied by an adult; the only rating that excludes children is the dreaded NC 17. Hence my enjoyment of the matinee screening 'A History of Violence' in downtown Minneapolis was completely ruined by a mother and her party of 7-year-old boys, none of whom really seemed to be enjoying the picture. In the UK, thankfully, you can be excluded from a movie based on your age whether you are with an adult or not. Long live the nanny state!Lovin' the pod, Steve!Ben PS. My sister's estate agent in Cirencester was the winner of the 56 Million euro lottery. She quit her job the day after, but I'm sure she'd have a view on the mortgage based Lottery winning allocation system…

  13. Dave J

    Saw Richard in Peterborough this week, fantastic gig. Thought he may be amused to learn that when we picked up the tickets, the manager of the place complained that Herring "thinks he's Mariah bloody Carey. He's already been down here for six beers and a bottle of water!" Next he'll be wanting bog roll.

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