Piss

Ah well, it had to happen. A tired and emotional and dampened Richard Herring said a rude word on our Saturday morning show on 6 Music. If you’re the sort of pathetic person who gets a kick out of hearing a man say what is a very moderately offensive word – one found, albeit hidden, in the Top 2 hit Tubthumping by Chumbawamba – then you can hear it being said, in the literal heat of the moment when he poured a whole cup of warm coffee into his own lap, on the iPlayer, where is it currently the fifth most popular 6 Music show on the iPlayer, here. If you don’t feel the need to hear that word, or all the records we played, then you can download the podcast, all 40 minutes of it, here. It’s quite a disgusting one, actually, as we asked listeners to tell us about their worst eating experiences. So if you’re eating, listen away now. Oh, and our nice new, permanent-seeming homepage (as permanent-seeming as anything on 6 Music) is here. And if you want to see the beginnings of our gallery of Nerd Army baby pictures, it’s very hard to find, so try this. And if you want to send your picture to the gallery which nobody will be able to find, email us at this address.


These are ours – very professionally taken by Richard’s niece Lucy:

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Keep your money!

In our 112th podcast overall, and the fifth podcast an almost-spent Richard has recorded in six days, we exhaustively and exhaustedly ignore the newspapers (for which Andrew paid a pound) and instead discuss the historical accuracy of Roman epics, including the new Australian-made, racy, foul-mouthed, blood-soaked Bravo miniseries Blood and Spunk, the ethical and linguistic accuracy of The Time Machine and Avatar (see how up to date we are with the films?), the disappearance of Samantha Mumba, and the main differences between having the saddle stolen off your bike and being raped; we also come up with a brilliant theme for our next commercially available CD, mourn the death of one of Slipknot, and ponder the scribbled notes in one of Richard’s many unused notebooks, one of which seems to be part of someone called Tanya’s credit card number [not pictured], and another says, “sexual malaise” [pictured], with a box round it.

You will have to wait up to five days for the next podcast with Richard on it.

Our brilliant Korea

In the post-Sonys podcast, which is number 111 [wait for it, wait for it], we try to squeeze one last extra drop of observational humour from a man who is currently doing three podcasts a week – and, after he’s appeared on Five Live’s 7 Day Sunday this Sunday, four podcasts a week – and clearly showing the strain. Luckily, a whole assortment of people have sought Richard out to secure sponsorship while he’s been flogging his book up and down the land, so most of the podcast is taken up with namechecking them, then some adverts, then a bit of a spat on Twitter with a man who provocatively Tweeted Richard during the podcast, then some more adverts, and finally a philosophical debate about Dr Craig Venter playing God and whether we should live more like monkeys. If you find the podcast “a bit meh” (not a phrase either of us would ordinarily stoop to), then let Richard know by name on Twitter via @Herring1967. Oh, and thanks for the Korean products that are featured in the photo just in time for the nuclear war: ha ha, one of them is nearly called SHITE.

Wave to Michael!

Just so you know, comedian and Robyn Hitchcock-terrorist Michael Legge is filling Richard’s Somy-nominated shoes tomorrow on 6 Music, so be nice to him and send us some emails and texts and pics. He will be debuting Legge Rules, for which Andy McH has, unsurprisingly – the slag! – provided a brand new jingle. Download the highlights podcast from about Sunday, or Monday, depending on the speed of compliance.

Michael and James’s podcast, Precious Little (“… but Michael might say c-u-uuu-u-n-t”), can be found here.

Richard and I will be recording next week’s Collings & Herrin Podcast on Friday afternoon, when he gets back from reading his book to the people of the land from various park benches, so be patient, mofos.

Jonny Mole/Andy Collins gay

In this special pre-Sony Awards podcast, number 110 [it’s with Orange Mark, bear with us], we actually get dressed into our monkey suits as we prepare to attend the “radio Oscars” in London’s actually-real Mayfair. Uniquely, the podcast is recorded on Andrew’s laptop, without the new mic; yes, we are kicking it old skool, but counterintuitively we are sitting in an actual BBC studio at 6 Music, booked out by Andrew’s 6 Music producer Jonny, which is all soundproofed and everything. Talk is mainly of Britt Ekland, sex with Neanderthals, Jeremy Paxman, Nigel Farage’s trouser leg, Rome, Hitler, infecting Brian Cox’s laptop with a dead squirrel and the Great Fire at the British Library. Wish Richard luck – by the time you hear this AIOTM will either have won or not won a Sony Award. And congratulations to Stewart Lee on his Bafta nomination, which is no way overshadows Richard’s achievement.

And we apologise to anyone who walked past the studio and saw Richard’s bum at the glass in the door while he was changing. [Not pictured]

Cox! Cox! Cox!

The new Collins & Herring 6 Music podcast is already available from iTunes and here (thanks to Will/Tom, for such quick work, although it’s a shame Richard shouting, “Cox! Cox! Cox! Pull you finger out! Cox!” didn’t make it past compliance as it may have been the funniest thing he’s ever said on the radio). And if you’d like to add to the Mosaic Of Commitment – formerly the Gallery, in future maybe something else Rich has threatened to think of – then send pics of you (or a pet, or a relative, or a baby, or an inanimate object) sleeping, without any funny business, to andrew.6music@bbc.co.uk

The next Collings & Herrin Podcast will be recorded tomorrow (Monday), pre-Sony Awards!

Vote for York City

Still flushed with excitement at York City’s decisive won over Luton Town in a cup, in the Collings & Herrin Election Week Podcast Debate Special [now available at the usual place] we provide balanced, fair and impartial coverage of the Gillian Duffy affair (which one of us missed because he was up the Spanish Steps in Rome), the potential outcome of a Labour or Lib Dem victory on the terrifying future without Page 3 and with Gary Glitter, the theological ins and outs of Deep Throat (was it in black and white, or were we?), the Amazon Hunting and Fishing Humour chart, the efficiency of letting Mr Bean deliver the nation’s polling cards, and the proximity of the failed car bomb in Times Square to ITV. Richard gets out of his system all the adult material he can’t use on our family show on 6 Music, and Andrew tries to use up all the jokes he thought up for 7 Day Sunday but couldn’t squeeze in. Buy Jim Bob’s novel. And thanks for the Cava and Mini-Eggs, Rose.

WARNING: This podcast is one hour, six minutes and 40 seconds long, as we had it on manual again.

Servants of the Wankh

The latest, clean, 6 Music Collins & Herring podcast is up, including your stories (and ours) of holiday jobs. Meanwhile, the explicit Collings & Herrin 109 will be recorded later this afternoon and should be available before you go to bed tonight. Meanwhile the Mosaic Of Commitment, courtesty of 13 weeks thus far of Nerd Army pics [see: above], continues to grow – although for some reason you have to go to a page by some people called Adam and Joe to see it. If you’d like to add a pic of whatever book you’re currently reading, email it to andrew.6music@bbc.co.uk