Gawd, you don’t half go on

Sorry, belated blog entry for Podcast 141, in which we face death, in the face, and not just Bernard Matthews’. Not to mention the extortionate costs of hiring a people-carrier with a ridiculous name that most people would be too embarrassed to ask for on the phone, the intricacies of our close showbiz pal Jason Manford’s career-change (actually, this bit is cut off in the middle, due to a fetish fridge magnet – pictured – sent us as an act of sabotage by somebody whose name Richard can’t remember), the confusingly fragrant nature of middle class female student rioters and its impact on the political compass of the Daily Mail, the counterintuitive behaviour of people who vote for people who are rubbish on TV reality and talent shows, and the coming potato famine in Ireland. Do not put a magnet near this podcast, as it might make it disappear.

BIG NEWS! Apparently, according to Graham Podcast-Counter, next week’s is officially our 200th podcast. We may celebrate. Or just carry on as normal.

COMMERCE: Pre-order the new Collings & Herrin podcast CD (with DVD extra!), War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, from the VAT-registered Go Faster Stripe here.

A REMINDER: We need festive questions to pluck from a fetching hat for our annual mash-up with Phill and Phil for The Perfect Twelve podcast. Here are some pictures of 2008’s jovial, studio-quality occasion to get you in the tinselly mood. Post the questions here if you like, or send via here, or here.


Say what you see

In Podcast 140, or 192 if you’re counting, probably, and somebody is, inaccurately, we celebrate the forthcoming Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton by recreating their now iconic pose in our photograph, even though there’s no chance of us ever seeing our own engagement through to fruition, or appearing on I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here, unless the producers reconsider the rules of remuneration to include Richard’s Kate Middleton-based caveat. With a weight off his shoulders, and elsewhere, Richard – using the supernatural powers of his Cursed Ring – attempts to claw back his comedy crown from the newly-insane Andrew – does he succeed? Or does he just muck about on the Internet while not paying attention? And could he answer questions on Celebrity Mastermind on the specialist subject of Anything Andrew Has Said On Today’s Podcast? You decide.


In a burglarious return to Richard’s attic after an extended period of podcasting in theatres, Masonic lodges, BBC studios and VW Golfs, Number 139 has a lot to process: the last ever ridiculously long and boring list of dedications to people who have given us 50p for sponsorship (yes – the last ever; deal with it); the competitive Richard Herring’s recent experience of having his life changed by an appearance on Celebrity Mastermind, a specialist subject about which we are sworn to secrecy and thus go on and on about for roughly 20 minutes but without SPOILERS; recent abuse on the website and Twitter; the comedown after the shy and retiring Andrew’s Nespresso-hastened nervous breakdown onstage in Cardiff; the withdrawal of Stephen Fry from public life; our radical and suitable change of sartorial style and how that’s going; and, of course, the amorphous geographical nature of Nadine Coyle’s accent. This is the last ever podcast we will do*.

Bye bye.

*Until next week, probably

God save the Queen

From the unusual, arcane and slightly spooky, Da Vinci Code-style domed environs of the Masonic Hall in Cardiff, we present live podcast 138, which was also filmed, by Chris Evans Not That One for future inclusion of the next C&H podcast CD (which we had recorded during the day: four brand new, exclusive podcasts, plus some teen poetry). This meant two things: one, that Andrew had performed a fully milked swansong of Secret Dancing as the extended first half and was emotionally drained by the time we sat down on our giant thrones to do the podcast; and two, we had the house lights up for filming purposes and could thus see the whites of the eyes of even the back row of a frankly terrified and easily offended Cardiff audience. You can see their frightened faces below. It was tremendous fun, if a little light on the news, due to neither of having had much time during the day to read any; and a certain air of tension and madness pervades. Plus, there was a portrait of the Queen watching us throughout, from the back wall. (Orange Mark has the juice, but give him a chance to load it up.)