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What women want: panda hats

Recorded in a carefully constructed television set designed to look like the post-apocalyptic attic flat of a sad, lonely old man who collects defunct electrical equipment, Podcast 148 – the closest you’ll get to our THIRD BIRTHDAY PODCAST!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!!! – is our subtle counterpoint to the Andy Gray/Richard Keys/hairy-handed sexism scandal: an hour-long tribute to women linesmen everywhere, and their basic human right to seek a “vagazzle” and have Premiership footballers “hanging out the back of of it.” You’ll have to listen to it to appreciate the full extent of our political correctness. (It was dark when we took the photograph, which is why it looks as grimy and grainy as Black Swan.)


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6 responses to “What women want: panda hats

  1. Just listened to the podcast – and was interested to hear that Richard was playing in Corby. Since we don’t get many celebs up this way I thought I would check it out. The Corby Core Website has no sign of Richard Herring, so I called the Ticket Hotline – “Richard Who” – looks like Andrew has deployed the Northamptonshire mafia…..


  2. Sue Denim ⋅

    I believe it’s spelled ‘Vajazzle’ – a friend of mine had it done. I have no idea what the point of it is either. Why spend money on having diamanté and sequins glued to your crotch when you could just buy a packet of gold star stickers and achieve much the same effect for a fraction of the price?

  3. Martles ⋅

    Gold stars: good thinking. Avoid glitter: it smarts.

  4. Adam Smith ⋅

    Andrew, you may or may not remember the 1980’s toy called a bedazzler.

    I do…all the rage with my sister and her friends who would spend hours sequining their denim jackets.

    I am guessing that is where the word ‘Vagazzle’ comes from.

    Just saying.

  5. Jason Lane ⋅

    Gold stars do make sense financially, but then you run the risk of it becoming a ratings system, and I’m sure no woman wants to be being told that they’ve marked too highly.

    That said, as far as scoring goes, 10 stars would obviously be reserved for the fabled Czech Deluxe Pussy, all the way down to 1 for a Sue Boyle.

  6. Amelie Jacques ⋅

    I would like to remain blissfully ignorant of these please. Surely it would sweat off when down the gym or you’d tear toilet paper on it (at the least)….


    On a more positive note, no drink or chocolate is suiting Richard who looks extremely sexy and young in the photo above. Maybe he will come back a big bloater with a diamante dong following his holiday, but I hope not.

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