The wrong trousers

From the tank where we put all our spare podcasts (it is not really a tank of any kind), we present Podcast 156, which we recorded two weeks ago and is thus built around questions posed on March 15 by people on Twitter, some of whom were so greedy and megalomaniacal they posted a number of questions. You’ll have to listen to it to find out which ones inspired us, and which ones didn’t, and whether being a retired headmaster is harder than being a nationally known standup comedian. As you will see from the picture, Richard had just come back from a run to put this one in the tank, and is wearing shorts. Andrew is wearing long trousers. (Richard is back, briefly, next Tuesday, so another “live” one will be recorded, plus a further spare for the tank. It is not a tank.)

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Pen is

Bonus! In the latest of our free, Richard-is-on-tour, back-up, pre-recorded podcasts from the past for the future, we reach 155, a non-topical game of two halves. In the first half, we have a chin-stroking, Newsnight Review-style discussion of American comedy, from Larry Sanders and Zack Garofolo (as we call him, for convenience) to Fat Bastard and Kenny Powers. Then, in the second half, we take subjects from Twitter suggestions, and end up talking about cleaning anuses and watching slow motion footage of birds having practical, procreative sex. And for lovers of pens, here is a picture of all of the pens (and one IKEA pencil) from the small pocket in Andrew’s man bag.

Fly away home

Richard’s back! For one day only! So we present a brand new, topical podcast, Number 154 (numbered after the excellent 1979 album by the post-punk group Wire, one of Richard’s favourites). Rather than dwell on the horrible geological events in Japan, we turn instead to the last two weeks of Richard’s tour and go through his diary looking for interesting stories to tell. While he was away, battling Christians and Psychic Sally, Andrew had the quietest birthday ever and experienced the most emotionally draining week of his professional life, while accidentally keeping up with the money bid on his much more successful colleague on Twitrelief, a charity initiative misunderstood by some idiots. Also featuring: a guest star from the world of insects: this possibly radioactive ladybird, followed by its tiny son or daughter.

Quinlank’s Illustrated Directory of Film Comedy Stars

While Richard is away on tour, braving the threats and prayers of Christians who’ve seen his poster, we present a special, non-topical, “pre-recorded” Podcast 153, based upon the one-word themes suggested by the nerds of Twitter two weeks ago. The words that inspired and stumped us include:

revolution

fish

robots

liberation

ennui

boobs

nostalgia

schadenfreude

weddings

proxyglossaryisis

dreams

hedgehog

blue

Olympian

lactose

… to varying degrees of light entertainment. We also unveil Andrew’s First Theorum Of The Initial Letter B. Plus, for Fist Of Fun fans, we hold up the very book that gave Simon Quinlank his name.

Crew P.A.

Will Andrew get through the whole of Podcast 152, recorded the night after the Oscars, without finding out who won? He is attempting, Likely Lads style, to avoid the results all day so that he can watch the ceremony on Sky+ and fast-forward through the adverts and the rubbish bits in the studio in Isleworth about the dresses. This high level intrigue very much powers the podcast, which is otherwise dominated by Richard reading out his tour dates and trying to find something interesting to say about every town he’s visiting before we next get the chance to kick glasses of water over onto archived items of sentimental value in his post-apocalyptic attic. Colin Firth! Aaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhh!

NOTE: Due to Richard’s MacBook – an apparent “Pro” – the last three minutes or so are cut off, right in the middle of a revealing passage about the film Croupier. Sorry about that. If we can recover the extra minutes, we will put them out.