Seaside Special

In Collings & Herrin Podcast 116, we fully intended to kick it old skool and talk about what was in the newspapers and everything, but we got somewhat sidetracked by some old Edinburgh Fringe brochures from 1989 [Andrew’s first Edinburgh], 1993, 1998 and 2001 [the debut of Christ On A Bike], which unfortunately turned it into an indulgent smoking-jacketed remembrance of comedians and Fringes past. However, there was just time to go over the 11-hour-and-5-minute long Most Boring Tennis Match In History, praise the bionic cat and reclaim both a joke from Russell Brand’s new Hollywood comedy Get Him To The Greek which Richard probably wrote, and the bits that were too complimentary to broadcast on Lenny Henry’s afternoon chat show.

In the traditional one-hour-six-minute-and-35-seconds version of this podcast, we accidentally end on a contentious note, so we have taken the diplomatic and ethical decision to publish this slightly longer version, so it doesn’t. Oh, and Richard takes his shirt off, mid-podcast.

Awwww, Dad!

Bags of dad-based fun on the 6 Music Collins & Herring show this week. [See: soon to be locked in combat, “stripped to the chest”, Keith Herring and John Collins.] We had a lot of fun. It was George Lamb’s last ever 6 Music show before ours, and we paid tribute to him, after his choked-up, indulgent valedictory link, by playing Gorgeous George, by Edwyn Collins. It has been quite a journey for the three of us, moving from mutual suspicion to mutual respect, as George started to acknowledge that we were succeeding him, and then, gradually, began to use our names, until the relationship thawed, and we became frankly matey, with handshakes at the handover. He may have been an ill fit for for 6 Music, but it has been an education watching him at work, playing the cart wall, commanding his slot and maintaining a frankly ludicrous energy level, right up until the handover, all the while clearly entertaining his core listenership.

Richard and I had insulted him in the past, but until you watch him work, it’s easier to dismiss what he does, which is generate an atmosphere in which he is comfortable working. Which is precisely what we do. It doesn’t mean you have to like him, but you have to accept the comparison. (I know for a fact that many listeners will not be able to connect with what we do either – you either make it easy or you don’t.) it’s pointless to criticise, especially as circumstance has allowed George to depart before he was dismissed. I’m sure he will enjoy an illustrious career in television.

Anyway, listen to our podcast here. This was our producer Uncle Henry’s last show, so we salute him. He’s been a calming presence over the last 15 weeks for our cheeky, boundary-broaching madness. We get next Saturday off, as it’s 6 Music’s wall-to-wall Glastonbury coverage, which, pointedly, includes the return of Adam & Joe for three days only. It seems, for now, that we are safe in our once-temporary slot. Good.

White line, don’t do it!

In Collings & Herrin Podcast 115 [coming soon, after the Brazil match], after comparing salt marks on our clothes on a hot day and after a London Adventure, we cast aside the news – mainly because we only have the literally worthless newspaper the London Evening Standard at our disposal – and instead discuss England’s chances in the World Cup of Football, the vuvuzela backlash, the loveliness of Steve Brown Photo’s cats (which we met on his boat at a three-way photo session for our upcoming Edinburgh Fringe shows, many of which you can buy tickets for in advance), the loveliness or not of Summerjunk‘s t-shirts [neither pictured, despite Luke sending us one each in exchange for some sponsorship action – I forgot to bring mine, despite really liking it, and Richard foolishly ordered the Large, which turns out to be Medium if you are, yourself, large], and the drunkenness or not of Andrew at last week’s sleepover, or sleepduring, if you were Andrew being forced to watch Richard’s live DVD rough-cut. We also discover where Richard keeps all his ideas.

We bend over backwards for you

Well, we enjoyed this week’s Nerd Army task on 6 Music, which was to do something acrobatic, in preparation for winning next year’s Britain’s Got Talent. Diversity, the acrobatic dance troupe, and Spellbound, the acrobatic dance troupe, seem to prove that this is the way to victory. Anyway, in the spirit of these things, both Richard and I did an acrobatic thing, of which, I think you’ll agree, mine is the most impressive. No CGI was used in the making of this photograph, even though I admit I was only in that position for a matter of seconds. Still, not bad for an old man. (I was quite surprised I could still do it, I’ll be honest.) We’d really like you to get involved, as our gallery has finally been fixed so it’s actually possible to find on the 6 Music website. Add to the acrobatics gallery by sending pics to andrew.6music@bbc.co.uk and have a look at the other galleries here.

Psssssst!

Want some non-brand-name print cartridges? On Collings & Herrin Podcast 114 [available from usual outlets] as well as discuss gun control, fox control, Angelina Jolie’s needy emails, the new, more literal Friday The 13th franchise, Stewart Lee’s bad dream, Andrew’s bad dream, the eternal Pret A Manger card, sibling rivalry and Vic Reeves’ iPad, we offer a whole stack of useless print cartridges in unnecessarily subtle shades of magenta and cyan for free to the first person who needs ones that are compatible with printers P7150, 8250, C6180, D7360, D6160, C5173, C5194, D7163, 3108 etc. [See: podcast for full list of compatible printers.]

Willies

Ha ha, World Cup Willies, I mean. Today on our 6 Music show, we asked the Nerd Army to send in pictorial representations of their national flag for the forthcoming world football tournament. I found the original 1966 World Cup Willie rosette [pictured, on webcam] which my Uncle Phil, then a referee, took to every single England game including the final at the World Cup in 1966, and then kindly gave to me, aged 18 months. I can’t believe I still have this family heirloom. Richard, meanwhile, made an English flag out of red and white CDs because he is very artistic and clever. [aside: James told him to do it; it was James’ idea.]

If you would like to send in a picture for our impossible-to-find gallery, send to andrew.6music@bbc.co.uk – and if you’d like to avoid the Dan Brown-style trail to find our secret gallery, it’s here. The podcast will appear here, sooner than it used to.

Lee and Maconie

In what could be the last ever Collings & Herrin podcast, unlucky number 113, Andrew and Richard try to process certain “issues” that threaten to bring their relationship to an untimely and fictional end

Andrew forgot to take his empty coffee mug downstairs two weeks ago. They also try some displacement activity and, avoiding the tiny elephant in the room, discuss the comedic skills of England No. 2 Franco Baldini, the evil aid workers and peace campaigners on the boat to Gaza, the cheering men of Goodge Street and the floppy nature of some of Richard’s archive. They even try to patch up their relationship by reading out some old Collins & Maconie and Lee & Herring material from the 90s. Has it worked? Or is the podcast broken? Tune in to next week’s to find out.